The Early Days

Becoming a mom for the first time is one of the single most amazing things that has ever happened to me. It's changed my life and given me a purpose that I never imagined possible. But it was one helluva bumpy ride to start off!! I can remember the day he was born, thinking that we'd take over the world: just me and him. Ethan's father checked out very early in my pregnancy, so I knew what I was getting myself into, and I was prepared. Or so I thought.

We spent 4 days in the hospital with those angelic nurses who kept the percocets comin'! While I was there I didn't even give being at home alone with Ethan a second thought. I figured we'd do fine! I was ready, right? WRONG.

No one told me how hard it would be during those first few months. No one explained that the hospital shouldn't be my frame of reference even if baby roomed with me 100% of the time because while I was taking care of him, SOMEONE was taking care of me (did I mention that I had great nurses?). People had mentioned that recovering from a (-n emergency) c-section was hard, but NO ONE told me that taking care of a baby WHILE recovering was 25 times harder! No one explained how sleep deprivation could really turn you into an unrecognizable person, even to yourself. I was completely and totally DELIRIOUS for a few months. Not to mention hormonal, exhausted, depressed and out of sorts. I was in no condition to care for myself, let alone a newborn.

But there he was, in all his innocence. How could I deny him the love and affection he deserved? Especially since I was the only parent there to give it to him. I had to get over myself. For his sake. So Ethan and I pretty much needed each other, because without him I would have had no purpose, and without me he would have had no food. LOL!

To any pregnant woman reading this post, I kid you not: those first few weeks are pretty intense. You can hardly find the time to shower and eat, and getting anything more than 2 hours of sleep becomes a distant memory (regardless as to whether you're a single parent or not, I guarantee that some of this at least will apply to you!). But soon, your angel gets a little older, and a little more independent. Before you know it, they're sleeping through the night and eating less, and THEN the party begins. Ethan and I have so much fun together. He truly is a miracle and a blessing for me.

I look back on those early days home with him and it seems like it happened so long ago, but it was just 6 months. Despite how depressed I was and how challenging an experience taking care of him was during that time, I'm grateful for it. The entire process has made me stronger, and I think I've become a better parent due to the fact that there was so much that I had to do all on my own. Looking back, I'd do it all again.

~S

Meet Me...

Ok, I owe you a formal introduction, right? Right. I'm Sakinah. I'm a relatively "young" (hey, you're as young as you feel, right?) new mom of one who lives in New York City, Brooklyn to be exact. I've been working for the SAME not-for-profit for EIGHT YEARS (as of August 2, which happens to be my son's 6 month b-day). Can I just state for the record that I have never been faithful to ANYTHING (nor ANYONE) for that long! I feel like I should say that I love skiing, hiking and jogging here, but I don't. Life hasn't exactly been a walk in the park for me, but I make the best of what I have and try not to complain too much. Although now that I'm doing this blog thing... *insert diabolical laugh here*

I don't think I've ever had the desire to start a blog. I have plenty of friends who have them, and I don't even subscribe (sorry friends). I've read blog posts before, but have never been truly dedicated to any one blog. I guess you can say I'm sort of a blog whore. But with the birth of my son in February, a strange thing happened. I now find myself thinking random, myriad thoughts at various points throughout the day. I just wished I could carry my journal around so that I could capture them all. Then, recently (a whole SIX months after I had my son BTW), I thought to myself... "Self, why not start one of those blog thingies?" And here I am! :)

So you'll find that we wind up back-tracking a bit from time to time, and other times there just might be random things here regarding the myriad things I think about on a daily basis. You'll find here my opinions, reviews, anecdotal baby stories and other randomosity that I deem appropriate to share along this journey called Motherhood. I will be pouring my heart, mind and sometimes soul into this thing. So with that said, buckle your seat belt and get ready for the ride.

~S

Thank You

It's the most simple of phrases. We use it to show gratitude for myriad things. When people DON'T say it, we get offended. It's probably the single most used phrase, but I have a question: do we really mean it?

Ok, sorry for attempting to be deep here, but I just felt the need to expand a little on that. What I mean to say is - when someone GIVES you something, think about whether or not you REALLY want it.

Take for example, the JOYOUS adventure that is being with child. When you're pregnant, people want to literally LINE UP to give you used stuff. Random things - old strollers, clothes, car seats, PACIFIERS (come on people!?). I think it's less about you and your endeavor into the unknown that is parenthood and more about their need to pawn off their crap. Don't get me wrong, I was very appreciative when a very good friend of mine gave me an infant car seat. He'd used it for his own son, who could no longer use it and he was very gracious. However, hindsight is always 20/20, like they say.

While the car seat my friend gave me was functional, I probably would have purchased a different model for myself. Correction, I would have purchased a different model for myself. He's more of a minimalist, while I'm a hardcore lover of all things innovative in the baby gear genre. Also, the model he gave me holds an infant from 4-22lbs. This is great, but I would have sprung for a model that can handle a larger infant (there are some that can take a 35 pounder!! WHOA!). I have used and appreciated the model that I was given, however now that Ethan is surpassing the 20lb mark, I wish I could use the infant seat and my Uppababy Bubble and snap and go Maclaren that I have fallen in love with just a little longer. I also wish I would have been able to use my Uppababy Vista stroller frame AS a snap and go (with the car seat adapter). I would have been able to do this had I purchased one of three or four car seats (which obviously were not the one I was given).

I guess what I'm trying to say in this not-so-formal introduction is that you should really do your research on what it is YOU want for your new baby before you accept those gracious hand-me-downs. Sometimes, the better answer and/or response is "No, thank you."

~S